Grieving!

I don't know if I am just the unusual one(which by the way would not surprise me), but has anyone else realized 14 years later that they have never let themselves grieve over a family member? I was going to ask this on Facebook, but I feel it is too personal. I was sitting out in the front yard yesterday in the early evening just watching the neighborhood and the sky and realized I had never let myself grieve over the loss of my dad. I know when I first heard from my oldest sister that I was just angry with him that he had shut us out for so long. But now I realize I was also caught up in my daily life of surviving my third marriage. I don't think I could totally absorb it. So I just kept on with my daily life one step at a time. I know it was the year Lisa graduated. I went up to Ghost Ranch the next year to try to be around the place that I most associated with my dad. Laura had been dating Pat for several months. They both went up with me so I didn't make the trip alone. I unfortunately wasn't able to accomplish what I hoped to at Ghost Ranch. After we left, we stopped at Abiquiu Dam. Poor Pat, that is when it hit me and all I felt was anger towards my Dad and I lashed out at Pat(quite unintentionally) because he was a man that was close by. I did apologize to Pat, but bless his heart he took it all in stride. To top it all off, I recently started a journal and I wrote quite a long entry last night in regards to my dad and I made the mistake of not saving it the correct way and I cannot find it.

Anyway, last night I did a lot of crying. For some reason while we were having a family car wash day yesterday, I started missing my dad. Last night while I was sitting outside(as I mentioned earlier) I realized that I had never let myself grieve over the loss of Dad. I know we went through a lot of tough times with him, but he really was a good person. We did have a lot of good times, along with the bad. My dad is the one that taught us girls to dance. He used to have Kathy and I stand on the toes of his shoes and dance us around. To this day I love to dance. Actually, I wish I could find a man that loved to dance. Well, I did a long time ago. Anthony enjoyed dancing with me, but he is gone also.

No matter what mistakes my dad made, I did love him a great deal. He was a very affectionate person. I do believe I got that from him because my mom wasn't. At any rate, I will post the same thing I said in my journal last night to him: "I love you Dad. I miss you a lot. Thank you for teaching me all the things that you did."

TRIP COMING UP!!!!! YEAH!!!

I am so excited! I finally get to go visit Lisa and her family. I can hardly wait. I haven't seen them for two years now. That is a very long time to me to go without seeing my daughter and her family. I will be flying out in 12 1/2 days. Not that I am counting down! hehe

I will also get to visit with James, Sarah and little Noah!

So, as far as traveling is concerned, I guess you could call this a double header!!!!!

2008 Christmas Sewing Gifts

Okay, I am still learning how to download and put the pictures in here right, so please bear with me. I am not going to try again because I keep losing the pictures. These are all the gifts I made for my grand kiddo's for Christmas. The blue and white snowflake pj's and matching pillow above are Maddy's. Her Aunt Laura picked out this fabric pattern for her.

Above is Isabel's nightgown and matching pillow.

On the right are Juliana's pj's and pillow.

The pj bottoms and pillow above are Damian's.

This is Cheyanne's nightgown and pillow on the right.

I really enjoyed sewing all of these. I haven't sewn since Lisa and Laura were in elementary school so you can all guess how long that has been. But it all came back to me quickly. Laura was a big help at Joann Fabrics in selecting patterns and the right fabrics for each one. Now I am ready to get going on another project. I feel like something long dormant has come alive in me again. I have come up with an idea to use the left over fabric for. After I make a couple I will post more pictures for you all to sew.

Sewing and Personality Tests!

I realize these two are an odd combination. Just wanted to give an update on my sewing. I am on my second project and it is going very well. I am really enjoying sewing again. It is a great creative outlet for me.

I took the personality test that Lisa blogged about. I am ISTJ - Introverted, Sensing, Thinking and Judging. It said ISTJs are "responsible, loyal and hard working. They have an acute sense of right and wrong and work hard at preserving established norms and traditions. Because of their deep sense of duty they are dedicated to everything they do and are very dependable. They care deeply for those closest to them." I think this is quite accurate for me. It also said (along with another test I took) that I am ISFJ - Introverted, Sensing, Feeling and Judging. ISFJs are "traditional, loyal, quiet and kind. They are very sensitive to other people's needs because they are very observant. They have rich inner thoughts and emotions. They value stability and cultural norms. They are very adept at giving attention to detail. They do not seek positions of authority." I would have to say this is quite accurate also. Interestingly enough, my job as an accountant is one of the career matches for this personality. Thanks for posting about this, I thought it was very interesting. I enjoyed reading about your test results also. I thought it was interesting to find that Angelina and I had one of the same results - ISFJ. For the ISTJ, it says 12% of the population have this type and for ISFJ, 10% of the population have this one.

Thanks again, Lisa. I encourage anybody to take this. You might find out more about yourself than you realize!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

I would like to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving! I wish we could be spending this day with all of our family, but I am grateful to be able to spend it with Laura and her family. I am going to do something I don't do very often. There are so many things I am grateful for this year that I decided to list some of them.

1.I have a wonderful family - That includes my husband, daughters, sons-in-law, grandchildren, brothers and sisters
and their spouses, nieces and nephews and their spouses and their children. I hope I didn't leave anyone out. I am
truly blessed to have all these people in my life.
2. With today's economy, I am especially happy to have a good job with good benefits.
3. Mike has a new job (he has had it for about 4 weeks now.) So he is working full time again.
4. I am thankful we have a home.
5. I was rear-ended on the way home Monday night, but I am grateful I wasn't injured, my car didn't get a huge amount
of damage, and the woman called her insurance company and told them it was her fault, so I don't have to haggle
over getting it fixed.
6. I am grateful for all the friends I have. Two particular friends at work have become a tremendous support system for
me when I need it. We call ourselves "The Three Musketeers".
7. We have a wonderful neighbor that has become like a second mom to Mike and me. She also watches over our
home while we are at work. She is a delightful person.
8. I said for a long time that I would never have any more pets, but we have 2 cats now and I am glad we have them.
They are very entertaining to watch.
9. I am grateful to be blessed with good health.
10. I am grateful to be able to worship how I choose. I don't mean to put this at the bottom of the list, but I believe if it
weren't for God watching over me and blessing me I wouldn't have this list of things to be grateful for.

My life is truly blessed! I hope you all have a wonderful day! I send my love to all of you!

Delightful Phone call!

Last night Maddy called me on her cell phone. In case there is anybody that reads this that doesn't know, Maddy is my oldest granddaughter. She said she wanted to put me on speaker phone so her and Isabel (her sister) could both talk to me. So we were talking and sharing and then Juliana(her youngest sister) came into the room. I said "Hi! Juliana!" I guess she wasn't used to the speaker phone. She told Maddy, "Maddy, your phone is talking." Then she said, "Hi phone." I thought it was really cute. It was fun talking to all three at the same time and hearing them interact with each other. I had never even thought of doing that, but I will in the future. I really enjoyed it.

Blue Skies!!!

We can finally see the sky again. There are still clouds, but this morning we have some blue sky and sun for awhile. We are expected to get more rain today, but I don't how heavy a rain we are supposed to get. But for now, we are enjoying seeing the blue sky again. I don't mind the clouds, because it is considerably cooler with the clouds. The clouds this morning are just big, white, fluffy clouds. Much better than gray clouds that keep circling around the city.