Grieving!

I don't know if I am just the unusual one(which by the way would not surprise me), but has anyone else realized 14 years later that they have never let themselves grieve over a family member? I was going to ask this on Facebook, but I feel it is too personal. I was sitting out in the front yard yesterday in the early evening just watching the neighborhood and the sky and realized I had never let myself grieve over the loss of my dad. I know when I first heard from my oldest sister that I was just angry with him that he had shut us out for so long. But now I realize I was also caught up in my daily life of surviving my third marriage. I don't think I could totally absorb it. So I just kept on with my daily life one step at a time. I know it was the year Lisa graduated. I went up to Ghost Ranch the next year to try to be around the place that I most associated with my dad. Laura had been dating Pat for several months. They both went up with me so I didn't make the trip alone. I unfortunately wasn't able to accomplish what I hoped to at Ghost Ranch. After we left, we stopped at Abiquiu Dam. Poor Pat, that is when it hit me and all I felt was anger towards my Dad and I lashed out at Pat(quite unintentionally) because he was a man that was close by. I did apologize to Pat, but bless his heart he took it all in stride. To top it all off, I recently started a journal and I wrote quite a long entry last night in regards to my dad and I made the mistake of not saving it the correct way and I cannot find it.

Anyway, last night I did a lot of crying. For some reason while we were having a family car wash day yesterday, I started missing my dad. Last night while I was sitting outside(as I mentioned earlier) I realized that I had never let myself grieve over the loss of Dad. I know we went through a lot of tough times with him, but he really was a good person. We did have a lot of good times, along with the bad. My dad is the one that taught us girls to dance. He used to have Kathy and I stand on the toes of his shoes and dance us around. To this day I love to dance. Actually, I wish I could find a man that loved to dance. Well, I did a long time ago. Anthony enjoyed dancing with me, but he is gone also.

No matter what mistakes my dad made, I did love him a great deal. He was a very affectionate person. I do believe I got that from him because my mom wasn't. At any rate, I will post the same thing I said in my journal last night to him: "I love you Dad. I miss you a lot. Thank you for teaching me all the things that you did."

TRIP COMING UP!!!!! YEAH!!!

I am so excited! I finally get to go visit Lisa and her family. I can hardly wait. I haven't seen them for two years now. That is a very long time to me to go without seeing my daughter and her family. I will be flying out in 12 1/2 days. Not that I am counting down! hehe

I will also get to visit with James, Sarah and little Noah!

So, as far as traveling is concerned, I guess you could call this a double header!!!!!

2008 Christmas Sewing Gifts

Okay, I am still learning how to download and put the pictures in here right, so please bear with me. I am not going to try again because I keep losing the pictures. These are all the gifts I made for my grand kiddo's for Christmas. The blue and white snowflake pj's and matching pillow above are Maddy's. Her Aunt Laura picked out this fabric pattern for her.

Above is Isabel's nightgown and matching pillow.

On the right are Juliana's pj's and pillow.

The pj bottoms and pillow above are Damian's.

This is Cheyanne's nightgown and pillow on the right.

I really enjoyed sewing all of these. I haven't sewn since Lisa and Laura were in elementary school so you can all guess how long that has been. But it all came back to me quickly. Laura was a big help at Joann Fabrics in selecting patterns and the right fabrics for each one. Now I am ready to get going on another project. I feel like something long dormant has come alive in me again. I have come up with an idea to use the left over fabric for. After I make a couple I will post more pictures for you all to sew.

Sewing and Personality Tests!

I realize these two are an odd combination. Just wanted to give an update on my sewing. I am on my second project and it is going very well. I am really enjoying sewing again. It is a great creative outlet for me.

I took the personality test that Lisa blogged about. I am ISTJ - Introverted, Sensing, Thinking and Judging. It said ISTJs are "responsible, loyal and hard working. They have an acute sense of right and wrong and work hard at preserving established norms and traditions. Because of their deep sense of duty they are dedicated to everything they do and are very dependable. They care deeply for those closest to them." I think this is quite accurate for me. It also said (along with another test I took) that I am ISFJ - Introverted, Sensing, Feeling and Judging. ISFJs are "traditional, loyal, quiet and kind. They are very sensitive to other people's needs because they are very observant. They have rich inner thoughts and emotions. They value stability and cultural norms. They are very adept at giving attention to detail. They do not seek positions of authority." I would have to say this is quite accurate also. Interestingly enough, my job as an accountant is one of the career matches for this personality. Thanks for posting about this, I thought it was very interesting. I enjoyed reading about your test results also. I thought it was interesting to find that Angelina and I had one of the same results - ISFJ. For the ISTJ, it says 12% of the population have this type and for ISFJ, 10% of the population have this one.

Thanks again, Lisa. I encourage anybody to take this. You might find out more about yourself than you realize!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

I would like to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving! I wish we could be spending this day with all of our family, but I am grateful to be able to spend it with Laura and her family. I am going to do something I don't do very often. There are so many things I am grateful for this year that I decided to list some of them.

1.I have a wonderful family - That includes my husband, daughters, sons-in-law, grandchildren, brothers and sisters
and their spouses, nieces and nephews and their spouses and their children. I hope I didn't leave anyone out. I am
truly blessed to have all these people in my life.
2. With today's economy, I am especially happy to have a good job with good benefits.
3. Mike has a new job (he has had it for about 4 weeks now.) So he is working full time again.
4. I am thankful we have a home.
5. I was rear-ended on the way home Monday night, but I am grateful I wasn't injured, my car didn't get a huge amount
of damage, and the woman called her insurance company and told them it was her fault, so I don't have to haggle
over getting it fixed.
6. I am grateful for all the friends I have. Two particular friends at work have become a tremendous support system for
me when I need it. We call ourselves "The Three Musketeers".
7. We have a wonderful neighbor that has become like a second mom to Mike and me. She also watches over our
home while we are at work. She is a delightful person.
8. I said for a long time that I would never have any more pets, but we have 2 cats now and I am glad we have them.
They are very entertaining to watch.
9. I am grateful to be blessed with good health.
10. I am grateful to be able to worship how I choose. I don't mean to put this at the bottom of the list, but I believe if it
weren't for God watching over me and blessing me I wouldn't have this list of things to be grateful for.

My life is truly blessed! I hope you all have a wonderful day! I send my love to all of you!

Delightful Phone call!

Last night Maddy called me on her cell phone. In case there is anybody that reads this that doesn't know, Maddy is my oldest granddaughter. She said she wanted to put me on speaker phone so her and Isabel (her sister) could both talk to me. So we were talking and sharing and then Juliana(her youngest sister) came into the room. I said "Hi! Juliana!" I guess she wasn't used to the speaker phone. She told Maddy, "Maddy, your phone is talking." Then she said, "Hi phone." I thought it was really cute. It was fun talking to all three at the same time and hearing them interact with each other. I had never even thought of doing that, but I will in the future. I really enjoyed it.

Blue Skies!!!

We can finally see the sky again. There are still clouds, but this morning we have some blue sky and sun for awhile. We are expected to get more rain today, but I don't how heavy a rain we are supposed to get. But for now, we are enjoying seeing the blue sky again. I don't mind the clouds, because it is considerably cooler with the clouds. The clouds this morning are just big, white, fluffy clouds. Much better than gray clouds that keep circling around the city.

Another Treat!

Mike received a nice surprise in the mail yesterday. Of course, I get to share it with him. A regular customer of the company he works for always asks for Mike to do their service calls. Well, they had something larger than usual and asked Mike to come out and take a look at it and do some consulting on it. The man even gave Mike the CAD program(I believe that is the name of it) for the blueprints. So Mike got to do some different work on the side (by request of Mike's boss). Well, after helping with the drawings and then the company submitting them to the county, they were finally approved. The man asked for a quote on the job from Mike and Mike explained to them that it was just too large a job for their company to feasibly handle. The company he works for isn't set up to handle large jobs. He kept after Mike to do the job, but it just can't happen. So Mike recommended a company that is owned by someone he used to work with. They employ several guys Mike used to work with also, so Mike felt that his customer would be in good hands. This company bid on the job and got it. As a token of appreciation, the man sent Mike a $100 gift certificate to the Outback Steakhouse.

Pleasant Surprise!

We had our Quarterly Employee Luncheon yesterday. It's always fun to get together with everybody and eat and chit chat for awhile. Then either our Vice-president, Steve Leary or our President, Bill Leary present the Quarterly Employee Appreciation award. I'm listening to what all Steve has to say about this employee and trying to figure out who it is. I about fell over when he said it was me. Now, it isn't because I don't think I am a good employee, but I received it about 3 or 4 years ago and I didn't know they would give it to the same person a second time. But I am the "Quarterly Employee". I have a special parking spot up front for this quarter and I received 2 - $25 gift certificates to Chili's and a $25 gift card to Walmart. I just think it is really neat receiving it again. I do believe we will be going to Chili's Friday night. Woohoo!!!!

I'm still around!

I just thought I would let everyone know I am still alive and kicking. I haven't posted anything for awhile because I really don't have anything to post about. I have been fighting depression a lot during the past couple of months and I really don't want to let that spill over into my blog if I can help it. It is a very wearing thing, as any of you that have that problem know. I do much better at it now though. I can generally catch myself before I go down into and pull myself up by the bootstraps and level out. But it is still very tiring. I actually haven't really fallen down into an actual depression for a number of years, so I give myself a lot of credit for that. Whew, I actually feel better now just blogging about it. It is much better than pretending it is something I don't have to deal with.

Well, we are officially 3 days into the hurricane season. Oh yeah! hehe Please pray that we don't get hit with any of them. I know we need the rain from the hurricanes, but if they will just stay out over the water and send the rain over the land, that would be super.

Hope you all have a good day!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL!

I hope everyone out there has a wonderful Mother's Day. Laura and I celebrated last night since Pat works on Sundays. Laura grilled burgers and corn on the cob and fixed a caesar salad. It was yummy!

Today Laura, Cheyanne, Damian and I are making our 2nd trip to a Farmer's Market near downtown. Laura went on line and found some for us to check out, but this is the only one that makes sense for us due to the distance. They have in in one corner of a very nice park so that is nice. We tried it last Sunday but didn't get to check it out alot. We want to spend more time looking today and seeing what all they have.

Anniversary Celebrated!

Yesterday, Mike and I celebrated our 7th anniversay on the 7th. We had a wonderful evening. We stayed at home due to finances, but I have to say this was much better than going out and spending alot of money. We had a very relaxed evening. Both of us love racing games so we raced using a game Pat loaned us and shared some very good wine. Then we fixed a recipe I found on Kraft website "Country Dijon Shrimp Saute" and had a very good loaf of bread to go with it "Rosemary Peppercorn and Corn". We made it with peel and eat shrimp and used the bread to sop up the sauce instead of serving it over rice. We had a bottle of wine from Napa Valley that a co-worker had brought back as a gift to me. I think this was the best celebration we have had. We calculated that it probaby cost less than $25. Going out would have cost a lot more for what we had. It was absolutely delicious. Of course, the fact that I was sharing it with the man I love made it taste so much better. Plus I was able to just relax in lounging pj's.

Maintaining!!

I would rather lose than maintain. But considering Wednesday was my birthday(I did very well actually) I can't really complain. I did have ice cream earlier in the week and that is something I just really need to stay away from because the only one I really like is Ben & Jerry's. I treated myself to a blueberry scone for breakfast on my birthday and Dirty Chips Salt N Vinegar chips later in the day. Last night even though I ate before Laura and I went grocery shopping I had a snack and wine around 10pm which I know is not good for me. So I am really surprised I didn't gain this week. But I gave myself an even better birthday present before breakfast. I decided that was a good day to get started back on my gazelle. So, all in all, I would have to say I am pretty satisfied with myself this week. I am still starting to feel better and that is really the main goal! Lisa, I totally agree with your comment on your other site and I think you are making tremendous progress. Stressing out makes it worse and changing our habits is what is important. So I say, let's all keep up the good work. Laura I know you have started back on the treadmill, so congrats and keep it up.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Well, another year! I decided to do something nice for myself and took the day off from work. I think this is the first time I have ever taken my birthday off. It has been a very relaxed day. Laura, Cheyanne and I went to Starbucks this morning. I figured I would splurge for my birthday and have a blueberry scone with my iced latte. It was yummy. Then we went to just look around at one of my favorite stores "Whole Foods". I finally have the ingredients now to make the olive oil crackers. Lisa, when you made the garlic crackers, did you just sprinkle garlic powder on them? I bought some flax seed to put on some of them. Mike is taking me out to dinner tonight. I haven't decided where I want to go yet. I was planning on fixing dinner at home, but he insists, so we will go out! What a nice guy! I am so glad I have him.

I just can't believe I am already 57 years old. It just doesn't seem possible, the time has gone by so fast. Also, I just don't feel like I should be yet. I guess that is a good thing! I hear a lot of people say they feel a lot older than they are. I feel a lot younger than I am.

This is the new addition to our family that I said I would post about a week ago. Sorry for the delay. His name is Buddy. He really is adorable. I will have to say, after being adamant about not having another pet, I am enjoying him much more than I thought I would. Most cats pick one person they really like, but he seems to be equally happy with Mike and me. Mike continues to claim he is not a cat person, but I think the picture above says it all. he he. He really has quite a personality already. He loves to play but he also likes to cuddle with Mike. He doesn't care much for me holding him, but he snuggles up with me on the couch and our bed.

Friday's weigh-in

I forgot to post Friday about my weigh-in. I lost only 1/4 lb, it's not much but it's better than gaining. I was consistent all week with my morning exercises and keeping track of my calories most of the week. I kept my calories between 1530 to 1928 per day. Now, if I could just get myself back on my gazelle. I don't know why I have been avoiding it so much. I feel better when I use it so you would think that would be enough motivation!

Seven Weird Things About Me

Oh my, do I have to limit it to 7 things? hehe Lisa tagged me to do this, so here it goes. Also, I have gotten to where I don't care if people think I am weird anymore. Growing up people used to think I was weird just because I was part of the "Philhower" clan. In my forties looking back, I think kthey were just jealous because no matter what problems our family had, we stuck together and we did alot of things as a family. So here goes!

*I keep a regular plate, saucer, bowl and a set of utensils at work to eat my lunch on. I don't like to waste paper or styrofoam plates.

*I don't like to sit around and watch a lot of TV. It doesn't relax me, it bores me and I get fidgety. I prefer just to watch the programs I enjoy and then do something else.

*When I run errands on weekends, I don't care if I don't wear powder and blush, but I have to put on earrings or I feel "naked".

*I like to eat leftover steak cold. Sometimes I prefer it over eating it when it is freshly grilled. I don't think this is weird but alot of people think eating cold steak is weird for some reason.

*I don't dry most of my clothes all the way. I dry them enough to fluff them to get the wrinkles out and then I hang them up to finish drying.

*Living in a hurricane state hasn't gotten me used to them, instead I get freaked out about getting separated from Mike or Laura, Pat and the kiddos.

*I prefer the looks of a hard working, calloused hand man over a pretty boy manicured hand looks.

Well, I did it. I had to do more thinking on it than I thought I would. Given time, I am sure I could come up with alot more weird things abou me. Now I am going to tag
Laura and Cathy.

More progress

I did my Friday morning weigh in this morning and was very pleased. I have dropped two more pounds. Last week I didn't lose any but at least kept stable. I have gotten back into my calorie counting this week and that helps alot. Mainly it helps me in being accountable for what I am eating. When I was calorie counting before the holidays it was working great and then I started feeling tired after about two months and wasn't losing weight as easily. Looking back, I realize that is when I got the "brilliant" idea that if I was cutting back on calories maybe I should cut back a little more. I think for my build and weight I was cutting back too far. I am keeping my calories between 1400-1800 a day and I feel great. I noticed the change is when I decided "Oh, let's see if I can keep them down to 1100-1200 a day." Not a good idea for me. Watching "Biggest Loser" has made me more aware of how important it is to keep the calorie count at a good level.

I brought my kitty, Buddy, home Sunday evening. He is settling in very well and likes to play and snuggle with both Mike and me. He likes to sleep snuggled somewhere between Mike and me. I will try to post a picture of him sometime this weekend. He is really cute!

I Have My Car Back!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!!!!!!

I have been without my car since January 9th. The oil light kept coming on so Mike replaced a number of things. Since this engine is so difficult to get to things(as are most of the newer engines) he wanted to go ahead and replace the oil pump, water pump(which in the process of disassembling the motor found out it was bad anyway), main bearings, rod bearings and bolts, and the front motor mount(again because he found it was broken in two). We don't have a garage, so he had to work around the weather, his job and throwing his lower back out of place working on the car. But once again, he did it. I am so blessed having a husband that is so handy. My car is up and running.

Thank you Laura for getting Cheyanne up early every morning and you two taking me to work. I also have a very nice friend at work that went out of her way to take me home almost every day. My supervisor helped me out with a ride a few times also. I am grateful to all of them.

Good Weigh-in Day!

I weighed in this morning and was very pleased. I lost 1 1/4 lbs of my "holiday and stress" weight! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I am getting back on track finally. I am starting to feel better too. I always do when I am eating healthier and exericising more, so it is beyond me that I think other stuff is worth it so much! hehe

It's A Small World!

Or a confirmation of sorts to encourage me that no matter what has happened so far to further delay our plans of moving, that it will happen! I picked up one of the many, many books that my next door neighbor gave me called "The Sweetest Thing". I was reading it again in bed last night and a receipt for it fell out of it. It was purchased on May 14, 1999 at the PDX airport(in case you don't know where that is, it is the airport in Portland, Oregon.) I know, I get pleasure out of some of the smallest things, but I just thought that was neat.