Grieving!

I don't know if I am just the unusual one(which by the way would not surprise me), but has anyone else realized 14 years later that they have never let themselves grieve over a family member? I was going to ask this on Facebook, but I feel it is too personal. I was sitting out in the front yard yesterday in the early evening just watching the neighborhood and the sky and realized I had never let myself grieve over the loss of my dad. I know when I first heard from my oldest sister that I was just angry with him that he had shut us out for so long. But now I realize I was also caught up in my daily life of surviving my third marriage. I don't think I could totally absorb it. So I just kept on with my daily life one step at a time. I know it was the year Lisa graduated. I went up to Ghost Ranch the next year to try to be around the place that I most associated with my dad. Laura had been dating Pat for several months. They both went up with me so I didn't make the trip alone. I unfortunately wasn't able to accomplish what I hoped to at Ghost Ranch. After we left, we stopped at Abiquiu Dam. Poor Pat, that is when it hit me and all I felt was anger towards my Dad and I lashed out at Pat(quite unintentionally) because he was a man that was close by. I did apologize to Pat, but bless his heart he took it all in stride. To top it all off, I recently started a journal and I wrote quite a long entry last night in regards to my dad and I made the mistake of not saving it the correct way and I cannot find it.

Anyway, last night I did a lot of crying. For some reason while we were having a family car wash day yesterday, I started missing my dad. Last night while I was sitting outside(as I mentioned earlier) I realized that I had never let myself grieve over the loss of Dad. I know we went through a lot of tough times with him, but he really was a good person. We did have a lot of good times, along with the bad. My dad is the one that taught us girls to dance. He used to have Kathy and I stand on the toes of his shoes and dance us around. To this day I love to dance. Actually, I wish I could find a man that loved to dance. Well, I did a long time ago. Anthony enjoyed dancing with me, but he is gone also.

No matter what mistakes my dad made, I did love him a great deal. He was a very affectionate person. I do believe I got that from him because my mom wasn't. At any rate, I will post the same thing I said in my journal last night to him: "I love you Dad. I miss you a lot. Thank you for teaching me all the things that you did."

TRIP COMING UP!!!!! YEAH!!!

I am so excited! I finally get to go visit Lisa and her family. I can hardly wait. I haven't seen them for two years now. That is a very long time to me to go without seeing my daughter and her family. I will be flying out in 12 1/2 days. Not that I am counting down! hehe

I will also get to visit with James, Sarah and little Noah!

So, as far as traveling is concerned, I guess you could call this a double header!!!!!

2008 Christmas Sewing Gifts

Okay, I am still learning how to download and put the pictures in here right, so please bear with me. I am not going to try again because I keep losing the pictures. These are all the gifts I made for my grand kiddo's for Christmas. The blue and white snowflake pj's and matching pillow above are Maddy's. Her Aunt Laura picked out this fabric pattern for her.

Above is Isabel's nightgown and matching pillow.

On the right are Juliana's pj's and pillow.

The pj bottoms and pillow above are Damian's.

This is Cheyanne's nightgown and pillow on the right.

I really enjoyed sewing all of these. I haven't sewn since Lisa and Laura were in elementary school so you can all guess how long that has been. But it all came back to me quickly. Laura was a big help at Joann Fabrics in selecting patterns and the right fabrics for each one. Now I am ready to get going on another project. I feel like something long dormant has come alive in me again. I have come up with an idea to use the left over fabric for. After I make a couple I will post more pictures for you all to sew.